


The Mantle of Duty

by StrandsofNehn



Series: For Lavellan [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Break Up, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Post Break Up, Syl would pick Cassandra, and gets hugs from Dorian, girl talk, she had to talk about it with someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 16:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5632531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrandsofNehn/pseuds/StrandsofNehn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inquisitor Lavellan just had her heart broken and it's left her with feelings she did not have the opportunity to express to her love. Sometimes a girl just needs her best girl friend.</p><p>I needed some practice in how Syl deals with her feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mantle of Duty

"I never even told him that I love him."

Cassandra lifts her head from the whetstone she had been using to her friend. Sylanna didn't say anything until now, just came into her quarters with her staff and maintence kit and started working. It was not uncommon, though Cassandra could tell something was amiss with her friend. 

"He told me so early. I was afraid to say it back." Her smile was sad. _"Ara lath ma vhenan."_

Still, Sylanna did not look at her. 

"I was afraid of meaning it. Just plucked up the courage and now we're done and it's gone from this cherished, awaited thing to this gnarled thorn in my heart. I... I don't know what to do Cassandra. He looked so... tortured."

"I should think so, to leave you is not a choice to be made lightly. Or at all." 

Syl's lips pulled, "He said he was distracting me from my duty. That it would never happen again." She stopped sharpening the blade on her staff. "Tell me truly, Cass. Did you notice anything? If I was negatively affected in my duties as Inquisitor- in the time you knew of me and Solas?"  

Cassandra fought to keep her temper. "No, Sylanna. I did not, because there was nothing ill to notice. I stand by what I said. I still have no regrets of passing the Inquisition to you. There is no one better."

"I am not unsure of myself. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know I have blind spots. Evidently Solas is one. Hardly surprising. Love is always muddy water."

Cassandra nearly declared with a snarl that love was not 'muddy water', that it was, instead, a clear summers day after rain and a place to rest. That it was a good thing. That love was good. Cassandra, however, contrary to most opinion, was not naive. Love could also be a place of pain. As one of the worlds strongest emotions, maybe the strongest, it has the most sway over a person. It leaves the largest marks. She was just displeased, enraged, saddened that the mark it had left on her dear friend was "muddy water." Undrinkable and devoid of life. So, Cassandra pressed her lips together, unsure of what to say. 

Syl, luckily, isn't here for advice or in depth conversations about the beauty of life without him, the truths Cassandra holds about love, Syl is here to unburden her heart. Cassandra is capable of helping her friend with that much. "It hurts. I feel naked. Like a child not yet been on her first hunt. How will I ever face my mother again? My brother? Deshanna? Will I be welcomed home or will the whispers take every comfort it may provide away?"

Sylanna's hand was gripped tightly around her staff, too close to the blade for Cassandra's liking. "How can I ever tell them that everything we pride ourselves on is a lie?" Her breath is shaky now, "How do you tell those you love that the things the Dalish take as certainties, are wrong?"

Cassandra relaxes a bit when Syl puts her staff to the side. "Cass, I don't think I've ever told you, but my clan was- is- more open minded than others. We've had to be to survive. My keeper would at least listen, but I could never break her heart like that. I'd rather be labeled a Shem." Cassandra felt her eyebrows raise, "She sought out history, clues of our people. We found many. Old ruins are scattered across Thedus, of course. If my clan had seen the Temple of Mythal it would... It would mean so much." 

"Do you... Do you wish to go back to your clan, Inquisitor?" 

"I..." Her face twisted, "I... No, I do not." Syl met her gaze, "You're surprised."

"I am, with the way you speak of them."

"Yes, it does rather sound like I'm planning my escape to the wilderness, doesn't it?" She chuckles, but its without humor. "I do not. I miss them. Very much, but I am not the same as I was. I would no longer belong. So for now, I will miss the warmth of my mothers hugs, the wisdom of my keeper and the rivalry of my brother until such a time I don't. If such a time exists." She laughs, but its a heart breaking sound, "I doubt it." 

"You must speak with him about this, about what happened."

"I have. It took some pressing, but he says he will explain more after Corypheus, "She sighs and blows her pale hair from her face, "But, I'm disinclined to believe him. Something in his manner." 

"You need closure."

"I may have to create it alone." She smiles at her, it is kind and genuine, "You don't like that at all."

"No."

"Can't say I'm thrilled about it, either. That would take a bit more bullshit than I think even Varric is capable of." Sylanna winks at her, and her armor is back. Cassandra knows it is because Syl had either successfully said what she had needed, or felt she had taken too much time 'whining'. It truth, this had been the longest conversation they had ever had about her relationship with Solas. 

"I would appreciate it, Sylanna, if you would refrain from that. The dwarf provides enough." Her friend flashes her a charming smile that holds no such reassurance that she would. "I enjoy hearing you speak your mind and am flattered you choose to confide these thoughts in me."

Sylanna's smile slipped, "You're one of my best friends, Cass.  I'll always value our friendship. Thank you for listening. It means much."

"I am here for you."

**Author's Note:**

> And insights, comments, critiques (because my grammar is atrocious but I really don't know how to fix it) are all welcome-welcome. (Help please) 
> 
> Thanks for reading loves!


End file.
